Traumatic Events Aside; My Faith Endured - Part 3

What was is it between God and Job? 

God loved Job very much. He was proud of Job for being such a faithful believer. 

How do I explain that I think Job and I were separated at birth by a few thousand years?

Did God stop loving Job? Not in the least. If it were possible, God loved Job even more. and He wanted to prove how much Job loved Him. So, in a way God was showing off.

More to the point, God was showing Job off. 

Just like any parent who was proud of their child's accomplishments. Like any parent who wanted to tell anyone who would listen. You know the kind of parent; they especially want to show off if they think it'll impress the other person.

If you are a parent, you understand this concept very well. What parent could pass up a perfect opportunity to show off how proud they were of their child?

And, just like most children who don't understand what their parents were doing, Job was confused and didn't understand why God would do this to him. He was a good man. Even so, God picked Job to be tested.

"Was it unfair for God to allow Job to suffer over what was basically an argument between God and Satan?"

From Got Answers:  

"A surface reading of the book of Job usually evokes a reaction such as “Why is God making a ‘bet’ with the devil? God is being unfair to Job!” If we are honest and not just trying to defend God, He seems at first like some kind of cosmic ogre. God not only wagered Satan over the outcome of Job’s trials, but He actually provoked the bet (Job 1–2). To make matters worse, Job never finds out why he was afflicted in the first place. This is very disturbing for those who hope to see God as just, gracious and loving and not just “playing” with us as if we were pawns on a chessboard. So, in a way, the story of Job puts God on trial. To really understand what is going on in Job, we need to evaluate how this “trial” is litigated in the book’s argument." 

For further information, please click here.

Job’s friends and wife all told Job to curse God for the calamities that had fallen on him.

“His wife said to him, “are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” Job 2:9

“He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job 2:10

Job trusted in God, he concluded that trouble from God was better than comfort and ease without God. He was confident that God has his best interest at heart, even though he count not understand how that could be true in his present situation.

The Lord Himself said, “I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.” Isaiah 45:7

So where does that leave us in our current time? And, how does this fit in with my thinking Job and I were separated at birth? 


Well, let me tell you that God must be so proud me. That has to be the reason why my life has gone the way it has. Otherwise, what I learned about Job doesn't matter. And I don't believe that. I believe that God loves me and is proud of me.

Challenges and Trials of Suffering are God's way of building our Trust in Him.

I believe that it's absolutely true that bad things happen to good people. I also believe that God never gives you more than He thinks you can handle.

I just never realized I could handle so much in my life at one time. 


I know God has a plan for me. I continue to pray for guidance and direction to follow it, patience to wait for it, and knowledge to know when it comes.

God is working on me. I'm unfinished. As in the song by Mandisa.

God wants His voice to be the only voice I hear. I must listen for Him to speak to me.


God's timing is perfect; never early, never late. I must have patience, I must wait, I must trust.

When God permits suffering, He also provides comfort. I believe in Him, and I have faith that He will be my victory.







He is in control. The adage, "Let Go and Let God" is not something people "parrot" to give you comfort. It's guidance of faith.

"As long as you know that God is for you, it doesn't matter who is against you." -- Romans 8:31







One of my favorite verses is:


"I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength." -- Philippians 4:13

I swear to you, don't lose sight of God's guidance. It may be subtle as the soft flutter of a ladybug's wing, or as wild as a massive storm in the middle of the ocean. Regardless, pay attention!

I sure wish I did.

Too bad I wasn't looking when he was showing me. It would have made things so much easier. But, then, this isn't about making things easy, is it?

Was it coincidence that I learned, almost too late, that I should have been focusing on my faith in God to set a path for me to follow?

I don't think so. I think, like Job, I had to experience all that I did to become the person I am now.

I needed to learn patience.

True justice requires patience. A lot of patience.






Do you remember this quote?

"Ours is not to reason why, ours is to do or die." 

It was by Alfred Lord Tennyson.








The same can be applied to Jesus when he said, "You don't understand what I'm doing now, but someday you will" -- John 13:7

Paul tells us in Romans, 

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” -- Romans 12:12

My life-long walk with Christ, as I trusted God and believed in His protective angels, put me through the following major traumatic situations. Through it all, Jesus was my ROCK. :

•   A sexually abusive adopted father from 
childhood to 13 years old – concluding in my first suicide attempt

•   After joining the USMC and transferred to Twenty-Nine Palms Marine Corps Base in California, I was drugged and repeatedly gang-raped by male marines (I refuse to use the capital ‘M’; they don’t deserve it.)

•   Surviving a cross over to death during my third and last childbirth - a son - in which I was on bed rest for the entire pregnancy. My son and I both nearly died. 

•   A car accident, in which I should never have survived - extracted, sent to the ER, with a compound compression fracture of the lower lumbar. Discovering Congenital Spinal Stenosis with no treatment option. Eventually the spinal canal will narrow to the point my spinal cord will be crushed and I will no longer walk.

•   An emotionally, physically abusive first husband whose last actions and words to me before I left, was a violent rape, him placing a loaded .357 handgun on the headboard of our bed and the words “Don’t close your eyes tonight, you might not wake up.”

•   A rear-ending by a Phoenix city bus that sent my three children and me to the hospital. We were crushed between the bus from behind and the car it pushed us into.

•   A hypnotherapist’s sexual abuse under treatment.

•   An unfortunate 2nd marriage, which I regretted as soon as it happened.

•   An emergency hysterectomy to remove a pre-cancerous cervix and uterus.

•   Stalking and threats from 1st husband and the Mexican Mafia - resulting in a judge and sheriff advising me to take my children and pack up, don’t tell anyone when or where, leave no forwarding information and get away in the middle of the night and go somewhere that my ex-husband and his connections to the Mexican Mafia could not find us. They eventually did and took my children away from me for nearly 6 years.

•   A life-changing, move across the country to Florida, discovering my soul’s mate - the water. A parade of unsuitable lovers in a desperate attempt to fill the void in my heart for someone to love. Another suicide attempt, after a particularly close relationship with a man 11 years my junior. 

•   Discovering my other half and the only man I could ever truly love in a twist of circumstances, where neither of us expected it. He helped me discover my real self, build my self-esteem, and grow with an adventurous spirit that rode a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle. He saw who I was way before I ever knew myself! I love him for that.

•    A brush with death again when I discovered a lump in my breast. The surgeon removed it to do a biopsy and only then determined it was benign. A golf-ball size benign tumor.

•   A life-threatening Thyroid Storm, resulting in Grave’s Disease and medically ordered bed rest in which I could no longer return to work.

•   Running my successful Technical Writing Consulting Firm for three years.

•   Another emergency surgery to remove infected ovaries, which threw me into premature menopause.

•   Beginning my successful career as a published author fulfilling a dream I had since high school.

•   Co-founding the Florida Writers Association.

•   Depression. Wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Medication Resistant Depression, Social Anxiety. Generalized Anxiety. OCD. PTSD. BED.

•   Many attempted suicides

•   Many hospitalizations

•   Two long term hospitalizations

•   Many ECT Treatments (one session was the focus of a local ABC news program during Sweeps Week)

•   Years long battle with lawyers to gain PTSD and disability due to being drugged and raped by 2 marines (Eventually, the final decision was MST (Military Sexual Trauma) PTSD with Major Depressive Disorder, 100% disabled and unemployable)

•   Chronic sleep issues (Insomnia & Narcolepsy) From childhood traumas, rapes, abuses, I knew if I closed my eyes at night bad things would happen, so my mind refused to let my body relax enough to sleep. Severe Narcolepsy episodes of Cataplexy, Sleep Paralysis, Hallucinations

•   Most recently diagnosed with SIADH (Syndrome of Inappropriate Antidiuretic Hormone) after over a year of low sodium, hyponatremia, hospitalizations for critically dangerous low sodium, many falls with fractures of hip, elbow, shoulder, etc.

•   Grieving the loss of 25 years of writing after a "perfect storm" of events caused my thumb drive, back up, and back up to the back up, to all be lost at the same time. This gave me an opportunity to have long talks with God about my future, what His plans were, where He wanted me to go, and how. This resulted in studying Christian Counseling and doing pro bono counseling, Find Your Heart's Joy Christian Counseling / Coaching was born.

•   I already have shown some signs of dementia, although nothing to cause concern, but we all know where it's heading.

•   Losing my best friend, soul mate, protector, and Emotional Therapy dog for PTSD & Anxiety after 14 years to cancer. 

See the final in Part 4

Traumatic Events Aside; My Faith Endured - Part 1

I earned my intimate relationship with Jesus Christ at a price most people would not or could not pay.

I struggled to survive, even before my mother gave birth to me. My biological father beat her and left her for dead in the middle of nowhere in a cabin with a dirt floor, no running water or electricity.

Her sister found her after three days where she lay in agony of dry birth contractions. My mother, immediately rushed to the hospital, unconscious, never saw how I fought my way into the world, breeched. It turned into a blessing in disguise for her to not endure any further pain. When she regained consciousness, I was there to greet her!

I fought then, and I still fight against adversity every day. Being a Christian doesn’t mean life is all cupcakes and parties every day, piles of money, no sickness or disease, and not a care in the world.

Believing in Jesus Christ, being a Christian, is so much harder. Not only do we fight for and defend our Christianity and beliefs against the world of non-believers, but also we fight Satan who no longer controls us.

I grew up in the church. I went to Sunday Services, attended church camp every summer, and was a member of the choir. Baptized at thirteen, still with a heart and mind full of questions.

Simple and easy are not the answers to my questions. If they were, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Where am I? Why am I here? And the biggest question – how did I get here?

It took me a long time to understand that God knew the journey I needed to travel before I did. So, I am living my journey and enjoying it instead of anticipating the destination.

Coincidence upon coincidence. One after another. Some obvious, some not so, all strung together like beads on a string – a string of life – beads being the events that brought me to where I am today. And, to understand, it took suffering.

I've often wondered why so many innocent people must suffer. A day doesn't go by that I hear about one tragedy after another: church bombings, school shootings. The list goes on. What tears at my heart the most are the same questions being asked over and over by so many people. There are those that try to convince others that God lets people suffer because He is vengeful and has turned His back on His people. "They" say that if God truly loved us, He wouldn’t let such horrible things happen. Why would God let the innocent suffer?

Paul, one of the great sufferers for Christ, wrote in Philippians 1:29-30 “For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for Him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.”

The lesson that I needed to learn was that God created human beings with a free will. And, because of that free will, God wasn't going to raise His mighty hand and smote every single person down who did wrong. Not even if I was right there to point every single one of them out to Him.

Pain is one of those emotions that help us focus our attention on God. How many of us have ever cried out, "Oh, God, just make it stop hurting!" I can't remember the number of times I have cried those exact words.

Pain makes us look inside ourselves. Most of the time, whether we want to or not. We've been brought up in a world that uses pain as a punishment. As children, we constantly heard, "Don't do that or I'll spank you." As parents, we used the same techniques to invoke obedience in our children. How many times have we said, "I love you so much it hurts.” Or, how about this, "It pains me to tell you this, but . . ." We use pain all the time to emphasize our actions.

 Learning our lesson the "hard way" is, in my humble opinion, the best way to be taught. I always thought I was a really good student.

 So much for what I thought I knew.

Paul tells us in Philippians 1:12-14 “Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.”

Imprisoned, Paul didn’t become bitter or give up. He used it as an opportunity to spread Christ’s message. Paul realized that his current circumstances weren’t as important as what he did with them. He turned a bad situation into a good one. In prison, he found opportunities to reach out to the Roman soldiers guarding him and encouraged them to believe in Christ. There are so many times when we could be discouraged: indecision, financial burdens, family conflict, church conflict, job loss and more. It’s how we react in those situations that reflect what we believe. You too, can be like Paul: look for ways to demonstrate your faith even in bad situations. Whether or not the situation improves, your faith will grow stronger.

I don't believe that God is "letting" us suffer. I believe that He is acting like a parent, our Heavenly Father, by guiding us and showing us the way, but in the end, letting us make our own decisions. It's called Free Will. And God gave it to all of us.

The most famous sufferer in all of biblical times was Job. 



See Part 2

What are You Doing today to do the Work of God?

In John 6:28-29 it reads:

Then they asked Him, "What must we do to do the words God requires?"
Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent."


What are you doing today to do the work of God? Jesus tells us that the "work" of God is to believe. In the Chapter of John, at this time, Jesus was across the lake from Capernaum. The people had been searching for Him.

They asked this question only after they had their fill of the bread they'd eaten. Jesus told them "Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you." (John 6:27)

So, I ask you, are you working for God? Are you believing?

What is believing?

Believing is something Jesus was urging the people to do. They were worried about the temporary things like food when they needed to invest their efforts in eternal matters.

Jesus wanted them to put their trust in God for who He was, not for the physical conveniences He could offer them.

Satisfying God does not come from the work WE do, but from WHOM we believe. The first step involves accepting that Jesus is who he claims to be. All spiritual development is built on this affirmation.

Still, to believe is more than to work, faith is a gift of God's grace, prompted by God's mysterious work within us.

Declare to Jesus, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God," (Matthew 16:16) and embark on a life of belief that is satisfying to your Creator.

I'll ask you again, What are you doing today to do the work of God?

I Won the Lottery - Or How to Live on Ten Thousand Nothings a Week

If I didn't know better the following would really be a cause for alarm:

This is to inform you that Ministry Of Finance Benin Republic have

concluded to release your sum of Two Million Two hundred Thousand

dollar ($2,200.000.00 US-dollar) to you today and It will be send to

you through MONEY GRAM; So kindly reconfirm, Your Receiver Name, Your

Address, and your Telephone number to this office For your approval

payment of Two Million Two hundred Thousand dollar ($2,200.000.00

US-dollar) signed to release immediately to you.

Contact this person immediately. Name: Mr. Elleny Ofia. E-mail (

ellenyofia@yahoo.com ) The maximum amount you will be receiving each

day From tomorrow is Ten Thousand dollar ($10,000.00) daily until the

total $2,200.000.00 US-dollar get complete Transferred to you.. Mr.

Elleny Ofia will send your first payment to you tomorrow, if you send

the above mentioned information to him. Send Your Receiver Name, Your

Address, and your Telephone number to him now..

Best Regards

Ms.Delima Akin

Where do these people get off on preying on people and their emotions?  I'm burning up right now with anger for all of those who received this in their e-mail today and may not have as much knowledge that I do and will follow the instructions provided. 

For God's sake, please, if anyone of you or know of someone who does receive this kind of letter, delete it immediately. I realize they come in waves. But, it's been a dry spell for awhile, so some of you out there, or maybe not my readers, but someone you may know, might think this was the real deal. That they were rich. They could retire. They could have everything in the world they ever wanted.

Is that what makes us happy? To have worldly goods? To have the biggest house, the best car, and send our children to the best schools? Do you want to fill your life with so many "cherished" objects that all you do is spend all lay lounging and reading while you watch your maid dust them?

God wants so much more than that for you. He loves you so much you can't even imagine how much. God's love isn't about WHAT you have but WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF. 

How are you going to cart all your belongings to heaven with you? God won't want them in His house, anyway. They don't go with the decor. 

God wants you to pack your heart, your mind, and your soul with all that defines you. Those things you can take with you to heaven. 

So weigh this next sentence carefully.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20-21

Our faith may seem small and insignificant (especially in times of hardship and testing), but as our faith grows, so does our potential to overcome great obstacles and achieve noble goals.

Have faith.

Believe.

Trust.

Faith is the key to living a life beyond what you can ask or imagine. You don't need money. You don't need fine jewelry or fancy clothes. You need only what God asks of you. "throw out the guilty, shame-laden, sin-encrusted stuff and fill you with Jesus."

You only need you and your heart filled with the love for Jesus and yourself and others.

Pray on that.

Resource: Women Opening the Word Immeasurably More by Casandra Martin

Hope

It's just a small word, isn't it.

Hope.

It opens up many avenues to think about. A person can ask for hope. Someone can give hope to another. We can hope for good weather. A student can hope they get  good grades on their next test.  For those of us who live in Florida, we can hope for a silent hurricane season.

A mother can hope their child grows into a responsible adult. A child can hope for many presents under the Christmas Tree. A father can hope for the bonus he's expecting at the end of the year to be a good one.

Do you hope?

Do you believe in hope?

Do you hope to be a person of significance? Do you want to make your mark upon the world? What impression do you want to leave?

In Colossians 1:27 it reads, "To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery which is Christ i you, the hope of glory."

Through faith in Jesus, you become a person of significance, importance, magnitude.

Is't that a wonderful statement?

Did you ever feel like you didn't count for much for were insignificant? Did you feel like no one noticed you?

You don't have to think like that anymore. Following Jesus makes you significant.

You are an amazing person.

Yes, I said it. You. Are. An. Amazing. Person.

Believe in it.

George Herbert said this, "He that lives in hope dances without music."

Doesn't that bring a wonderful image to your mind?

It's all about your mindset and believing in God. You must trust Him completely. He does not take His love for His children lightly.

"Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put hope in you." Psalm 25:5

Hope can move mountains.

Hope is in the tiniest newborn's cry.

Hope is in the eye of a child sitting on Santa's lap.

Hope is in you.

I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas and find all the love and laughter meant to make your life full of joy.

Image credit: iqoncept / 123RF Stock Photo

I Believe in America - Remember 9/11

I Believe in America

I believe in firefighters that climb 50 flights
of stairs to help people they never met.
I believe in people who give their lives crashing an
airplane to save the lives of people they never met.
I believe in people who give blood, money, and
supplies to aide people they've never met.

I believe in America.

I believe in a country that stands strong and
proud, even in the face of grief and tragedy.
I believe in a country that not only
allows, but encourages and values diversity.
I believe in a country that does not think that
human suffering is "someone else's problem".

I believe in America.

I believe in a country that values freedom so
highly that rather than inhibit an individuals
rights, tragic events can sometimes occur.
I believe in a country that does not allow innocent
people to suffer at the hands of a madman.
I believe in a country that is willing to risk it's own
lives and safety to protect and aide innocent people.

I believe in America.

I believe in a country that does not lash out
quickly or rashly in revenge and retaliation.
I believe in a country that will defend
itself with appropriate means.
I believe in a country whose people will rise
to any challenge, and will stand up and fight
boldly and proudly against it's aggressors.

I believe in America.

by Gregory S. Taylor (c) 2001

This poem was written by my husband from his heart after the attack on 9/11/01. I share it with you today.