Yeah, even when I look at it, and having lived it, still can't believe how much has happened. And, those are the "MAJOR" events. God walked and does walk with me. I am certain of it.
I had
always considered myself a conscientious person. Like Job, I felt that I was
ethical, feared God, and avoided evil. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew
that there was a reason I was born and a purpose for my being put here on
earth.
Although,
for the life of me, I couldn't figure it out. And, nothing used to trouble me
more than not being able to figure something out.
Through it all, I've never, ever lost my faith in God. No matter what, even during suicide attempts, I prayed that something would intervene, as I wanted to live; yet I wanted to die. I know I have angels that protect me.
I am a
I am not afraid of my future, my destiny, or
God's plans. I go where He leads. He is my light. He is my Heavenly Father.
I know this
is probably way more information than you'd ever want, but I really wanted you
to understand how deep and how strong my faith has been through my life. No matter
what anyone or anything has ever done to me, I knew I would survive. I knew God
had plans for me. I knew that whoever traumatized my life, me, my children,
would eventually have to face the only judge that mattered – God.
Although
the wait for justice might seem unbearable, God one day will restore any one
who may have suffered without cause.
Our
suffering was a link to Jesus Christ. Because Jesus lived in our world and now
lives within all believers, He shared the pains, the sorrows and the frustrations
we feel. (Hebrews 4:15) He joins
with us in our suffering and – even more encouraging – also offers us comfort.
Paul
wrote in 2 Corinthians 1:2-7, that
as we comfort one another, our comfort abounds through Christ. At times we may
have difficulty feeling Christ’s comfort, but others can encourage us with
their physical presence, sharing our pain and offering comfort in tangible,
practical ways. Their spiritual strength can flow into our lives not as
off-hand answers, but as genuine grace. As part of our lives, their sympathy,
confidence and hope in Christ lift us. Christians may go through some tough
times, but they do not have to go through them alone.
Jesus
Christ promised.
It
wasn't my job to make sure that all the evil of the world was recognized and
punished. My heart carried so much resentment and self-pity, that I wasn't able
to see the good that I had in my life. I wasn't able to see the good I would
have in the future. I just wasn't able to see the good in the real me.
I am content
in knowing that I don't need an answer for every question right now. I
understand that there isn't always going to be a reason that makes sense. Only
the knowledge that there are answers and maybe in time, I will discover them.
And, if I don't, then I have to trust God enough to understand that He knows.
Like
Job, I no longer curse the day I was born. I don't demand that God tell me why
I must go through what I have and will continue to experience in the future.
Now, I
ask Him to be with me as I travel from day to day situations and provide me
with guidance and wisdom to know Him. Like most lessons, I had to be broken before God could build me up.
Challenges are God's way of making me trust Him.
Challenges are God's way of making me trust Him.
I am grateful for God, thankful for His presence, and trust Him. That is enough for me. I am truly blessed.
And, in
return, my promise to God is that I will try to listen more and complain less
so that I can hear His gentle prompts and be prepared to let go of what I can't
control.
I welcome
God's tests because I know that He is proud of me and wants to show others how
proud He is of me.
God's will, not my will. A mantra I say daily, as well as,
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
God's will, not my will. A mantra I say daily, as well as,
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
So, I tell you, don't think you are alone. God is with you always. Others have been through the same traumas you have. Don't be ashamed. Don't hide away. Speak up. I'll listen.
I know not if tomorrow’s way be steep or rough; but when Christ’s hand
is guiding me, that is enough. - unknown