Traumatic Events Aside; My Faith Endured - Part 4

That was quite a list of traumatic events, right?

Yeah, even when I look at it, and having lived it, still can't believe how much has happened. And, those are the "MAJOR" events. God walked and does walk with me. I am certain of it.

I had always considered myself a conscientious person. Like Job, I felt that I was ethical, feared God, and avoided evil. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew that there was a reason I was born and a purpose for my being put here on earth.

Although, for the life of me, I couldn't figure it out. And, nothing used to trouble me more than not being able to figure something out.

Through it all, I've never, ever lost my faith in God. No matter what, even during suicide attempts, I prayed that something would intervene, as I wanted to live; yet I wanted to die. I know I have angels that protect me. 









I am a Child of God, through and through. His faithful servant, using his wonderful gifts to serve my family, friends, neighbors, community near and far, and church.

 I am not afraid of my future, my destiny, or God's plans. I go where He leads. He is my light. He is my Heavenly Father.

I know this is probably way more information than you'd ever want, but I really wanted you to understand how deep and how strong my faith has been through my life. No matter what anyone or anything has ever done to me, I knew I would survive. I knew God had plans for me. I knew that whoever traumatized my life, me, my children, would eventually have to face the only judge that mattered – God.

Although the wait for justice might seem unbearable, God one day will restore any one who may have suffered without cause.

Our suffering was a link to Jesus Christ. Because Jesus lived in our world and now lives within all believers, He shared the pains, the sorrows and the frustrations we feel. (Hebrews 4:15) He joins with us in our suffering and – even more encouraging – also offers us comfort.

Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 1:2-7, that as we comfort one another, our comfort abounds through Christ. At times we may have difficulty feeling Christ’s comfort, but others can encourage us with their physical presence, sharing our pain and offering comfort in tangible, practical ways. Their spiritual strength can flow into our lives not as off-hand answers, but as genuine grace. As part of our lives, their sympathy, confidence and hope in Christ lift us. Christians may go through some tough times, but they do not have to go through them alone.

Jesus Christ promised.

It wasn't my job to make sure that all the evil of the world was recognized and punished. My heart carried so much resentment and self-pity, that I wasn't able to see the good that I had in my life. I wasn't able to see the good I would have in the future. I just wasn't able to see the good in the real me.

I am content in knowing that I don't need an answer for every question right now. I understand that there isn't always going to be a reason that makes sense. Only the knowledge that there are answers and maybe in time, I will discover them. And, if I don't, then I have to trust God enough to understand that He knows.

Like Job, I no longer curse the day I was born. I don't demand that God tell me why I must go through what I have and will continue to experience in the future.

Now, I ask Him to be with me as I travel from day to day situations and provide me with guidance and wisdom to know Him. Like most lessons, I had to be broken before God could build me up. 

Challenges are God's way of making me trust Him. 

 I am grateful for God, thankful for His presence, and trust Him. That is enough for me. I am truly blessed.

And, in return, my promise to God is that I will try to listen more and complain less so that I can hear His gentle prompts and be prepared to let go of what I can't control.

I welcome God's tests because I know that He is proud of me and wants to show others how proud He is of me.

God's will, not my will. A mantra I say daily, as well as, 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

So, I tell you, don't think you are alone. God is with you always. Others have been through the same traumas you have. Don't be ashamed. Don't hide away. Speak up. I'll listen.

I know not if tomorrow’s way be steep or rough; but when Christ’s hand is guiding me, that is enough. - unknown

Traumatic Events Aside; My Faith Endured - Part 1

I earned my intimate relationship with Jesus Christ at a price most people would not or could not pay.

I struggled to survive, even before my mother gave birth to me. My biological father beat her and left her for dead in the middle of nowhere in a cabin with a dirt floor, no running water or electricity.

Her sister found her after three days where she lay in agony of dry birth contractions. My mother, immediately rushed to the hospital, unconscious, never saw how I fought my way into the world, breeched. It turned into a blessing in disguise for her to not endure any further pain. When she regained consciousness, I was there to greet her!

I fought then, and I still fight against adversity every day. Being a Christian doesn’t mean life is all cupcakes and parties every day, piles of money, no sickness or disease, and not a care in the world.

Believing in Jesus Christ, being a Christian, is so much harder. Not only do we fight for and defend our Christianity and beliefs against the world of non-believers, but also we fight Satan who no longer controls us.

I grew up in the church. I went to Sunday Services, attended church camp every summer, and was a member of the choir. Baptized at thirteen, still with a heart and mind full of questions.

Simple and easy are not the answers to my questions. If they were, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Where am I? Why am I here? And the biggest question – how did I get here?

It took me a long time to understand that God knew the journey I needed to travel before I did. So, I am living my journey and enjoying it instead of anticipating the destination.

Coincidence upon coincidence. One after another. Some obvious, some not so, all strung together like beads on a string – a string of life – beads being the events that brought me to where I am today. And, to understand, it took suffering.

I've often wondered why so many innocent people must suffer. A day doesn't go by that I hear about one tragedy after another: church bombings, school shootings. The list goes on. What tears at my heart the most are the same questions being asked over and over by so many people. There are those that try to convince others that God lets people suffer because He is vengeful and has turned His back on His people. "They" say that if God truly loved us, He wouldn’t let such horrible things happen. Why would God let the innocent suffer?

Paul, one of the great sufferers for Christ, wrote in Philippians 1:29-30 “For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for Him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.”

The lesson that I needed to learn was that God created human beings with a free will. And, because of that free will, God wasn't going to raise His mighty hand and smote every single person down who did wrong. Not even if I was right there to point every single one of them out to Him.

Pain is one of those emotions that help us focus our attention on God. How many of us have ever cried out, "Oh, God, just make it stop hurting!" I can't remember the number of times I have cried those exact words.

Pain makes us look inside ourselves. Most of the time, whether we want to or not. We've been brought up in a world that uses pain as a punishment. As children, we constantly heard, "Don't do that or I'll spank you." As parents, we used the same techniques to invoke obedience in our children. How many times have we said, "I love you so much it hurts.” Or, how about this, "It pains me to tell you this, but . . ." We use pain all the time to emphasize our actions.

 Learning our lesson the "hard way" is, in my humble opinion, the best way to be taught. I always thought I was a really good student.

 So much for what I thought I knew.

Paul tells us in Philippians 1:12-14 “Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.”

Imprisoned, Paul didn’t become bitter or give up. He used it as an opportunity to spread Christ’s message. Paul realized that his current circumstances weren’t as important as what he did with them. He turned a bad situation into a good one. In prison, he found opportunities to reach out to the Roman soldiers guarding him and encouraged them to believe in Christ. There are so many times when we could be discouraged: indecision, financial burdens, family conflict, church conflict, job loss and more. It’s how we react in those situations that reflect what we believe. You too, can be like Paul: look for ways to demonstrate your faith even in bad situations. Whether or not the situation improves, your faith will grow stronger.

I don't believe that God is "letting" us suffer. I believe that He is acting like a parent, our Heavenly Father, by guiding us and showing us the way, but in the end, letting us make our own decisions. It's called Free Will. And God gave it to all of us.

The most famous sufferer in all of biblical times was Job. 



See Part 2

Worship - Why and How?

First, do we all know what the definition of "Worship" is?

According to Merriam-Webster:

: the act of showing respect and love for a god especially by praying with other people who believe in the same god : the act of worshipping God or a god

: excessive admiration for someone

In the context of this blog post, we are going to be talking about Worship as it relates to God. So, I ask again, Is there a Right Way to Worship God?

Or maybe I should define the question further, is there only one right way to worship God?

Where did worship come from? If you look in the bible it starts with men finding a place to build an altar and offer either burnt or fellowship offerings.

Deuteronomy 27:5-7 "Build there an altar to tool upon them. Build the altar of the Lord your God with your God. Sacrifice fellowship offerings there, eating them and rejoicing in the presence of the Lord your God."

The first mention of the word "worship" in the bible appears in Exodus 39:2-7 "They made the ephod of gold, and of blade, purple and scarlet yarn, and of finely twisted linen. They hammered out thin sheets of gold and into strands to be worked into the blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen - the work of a skilled craftsman. They made shoulder pieces for the ephod, which were attached to two if its corners, so it could be fastened. Its skillfully woven waistband was like it - of one piece with the ephod and made with gold, and with blue, purple and scarlet yarn, and with finely twisted linen, as the Lord commanded Moses. They mounted  the onyx stones in gold filigree settings and engraved them like a seal with the names of the sons of Israel. Then they fashioned them on the shoulder pieces of the ephod as memorial stones for the sons of Israel, as the Lord commanded Moses."

The reason for the fancy clothing were intended to show dignity and honor. The elaborate designs served to elevate the priests to a position of stature in the eyes of the people. The garments may also have helped the people esteem the worship of God and an awesome and mysterious privilege.

So, as far as I can tell so far, worshiping consisted of altars and elaborate and fancy clothing of the priests to show the people how much a privilege it was to worship God.

With me so far? I hope so, we haven't even begun yet.

In Deuteronomy, the Bible showed that God commanded an altar be built of plain stone without using tools. It was their simple beauty that became the frame for the awesomeness of our God.

Sacrifice. Fellowship. Rejoicing. All characteristics that are core to who God's people are and how it teaches us that "worship" is vital.

In Women Opening the Word Living Stones Casandra Martin defines worship this way, "Worship begins with God. The first steps into worship begin with awareness. ... Worship begins by opening our eyes and hearts to the truth that we are entering the presence of God. He created the pathway to worship. He opened its door, covering the way with the blood of His Son and inviting us to draw near to Him. In worship, we meet God." To Casandra, "That is the most defining, amazing thing about worship. It is the place where we come to heart-to-heart with our Savior."

What do you think? Does worship begin with God and offer us an opportunity to have a one-on-one with our Lord?

Do you think that is the right way to worship?

Being aware of God's presence, to me, means that I'm close to God. That we are communing together in an intimate way. That it's a personal association I have with God that I have with no other.

By being personal, I think that it brings in a uniqueness to my worship. My worship is unique.
Your worship is unique. Someone else may worship entirely differently. We are all unique and in being so have unique relationships with our Lord and God.

So,  must be be joined together in some type of union to worship God? Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Does God only listen to our worshiping when we are with others? I don't think so, I think whether we worship on our own or with others, God promises to hear and answer our prayers in line with His will.

However, according to Jesus, in 1 John 5:14-15 we can find a special sense of His presence and power during times of united prayer. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know what we have what we asked of Him."

So, what happens when we truly worship?

Should we expect to be changed?

How so?

By surrendering. Casandra Martin says, "Every time we come into worship, we should expect to walk out different from how we arrived. Within that expectation is a challenge. Are we willing to be changed? Surrender is the deep call of worship."

God wants to work in our lives. He uses our worship time to do so. God is always on the look out for ways to transform us. Transforming us so that we are more like Jesus.

And, guess what? The more we look and act like Jesus, the richer our worship experience becomes.

When we worship, our eyes are opened to who God is and who we are. With God's help, we are becoming more like Jesus. God thinks that's the greatest gift we could ever give Him.

What do you think?

By worshiping, truly worshiping, we can strip away all the masks we use on a daily basis that hide us from each other and from God and we can delight in God's grace. With God's grace on us, we have the power to transform into the likeness of Jesus.

By surrendering to God, we give up the ordinary path we've traversed, with so much difficulty, and take on God's sense of direction and pace. We now follow God's lead. We are His.

Wouldn't you much rather go on a journey where you know God is leading, than anyone or anything else?

So, I'll ask you this question: Why do you come to worship?

Have you surrendered yourself to the power of worship?

Reference: Women Opening the Word - Living Stones by Casandra Martin

Image credit: gelpi / 123RF Stock Photo

Letting Go and Letting God

Since my ECT treatments for Bipolar Disorder and Depression (March, April & May), I've learned so much about "letting go and letting God". My life went from an anxiety level of a 15 to nearly 0. I've put my life in God's hands and I have learned to lean on Him for support.

I don't worry about tomorrow. I know that every morning I wake up blessed for a new day. What God has planned for it, I don't know. Nor do I worry about it. In a matter of speaking, I go with the flow.

God has a plan for me. What it is, I'm not sure, but that's okay, because whatever it is, it's sure to be wonderful. My journey from today, to tomorrow, to next year and all the years after that until I'm kneeling at the feet of my almighty Father, will be an exciting adventure.

I trust in my Lord so much, I've put my life in His hands. In doing so, I'm happier and less anxious.

I am not going to worry about the path my journey takes me. It can be smooth or rough, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Jesus walks that path with me. His hand in my hand. I am never alone.

Can you say that you have as much trust in the Lord? God loves you. He cares for you. Trust Him to show you the way.

Five Minute Friday - Story

It's time for the "Five Minute Friday" blogging post. The inspiration comes from Lisa Jo Baker. 

What you do is set your timer for five minutes and write whatever you want according to the prompt Lisa places on her blog every Friday. Then you go back, link your blog and give support to those who posted before you. And, we connect on Twitter with #FiveMinuteFriday.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

Story.

I don't know how my life story is going to play out. That's God's plan. And, I'm okay with waiting to see where my journey through life takes me.

I used to have to have to plan everything. Right down to the tiniest detail. I don't do that anymore. More times than not, my plans needed adjusting along the way. I wasn't perfect. And, I'm okay with that.

Now, I live my life day by day. I feel more fulfilled knowing I only have to get through today. I don't have to worry about tomorrow or next week. My story unfolds in front of me one day at a time.

In all God's glory, He knows I can only handle one day at a time. I am comforted knowing that God is writing my life's story and that He has special plans for me.

I'll be patient. I'll wait. I look forward to living my life's story, God's way. Following His path in my life's journey.


STOP.

Five Minute Friday - Brave

It's time for the "Five Minute Friday" blogging post. The inspiration comes from Lisa Jo Baker. 

What you do is set your timer for five minutes and write whatever you want according to the prompt Lisa places on her blog every Friday. Then you go back, link your blog and give support to those who posted before you. And, we connect on Twitter with #FiveMinuteFriday.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

Brave

The word "brave" conjures up so many things in my life. I was brave when I accepted the news I had Bipolar Disorder. It took me a while, but then I was brave to share that news with others. First my family who I thought would accept me no matter what. Then with friends who I felt would be there for me in good times and in bad. The more acceptance I got, the braver I got and I started sharing with other people in my life. Doors slammed (not literally) in my face. Friends left me. People turned their back on me. I no longer felt brave enough to tell others about my struggles or journey through Bipolar Disorder. I hibernated. I snuggled into my own corner of the world and didn't come out. I withdrew.

Then, I read some books on Bipolar Disorder and read stories of people who shared similar experiences. I read how they pulled up their big girl panties and went on with life. Not letting the opinions of one or two mar them for life. I too could follow their advice. I did. I pulled up my big girl panties and joined the world. Not as a Bipolar person but a person who has Bipolar.

Stop.


Click on the Five Minute Friday logo below and see what others have written for their prompt. Have a great day.

Five Minute Friday