Traumatic Events Aside; My Faith Endured - Part 3

What was is it between God and Job? 

God loved Job very much. He was proud of Job for being such a faithful believer. 

How do I explain that I think Job and I were separated at birth by a few thousand years?

Did God stop loving Job? Not in the least. If it were possible, God loved Job even more. and He wanted to prove how much Job loved Him. So, in a way God was showing off.

More to the point, God was showing Job off. 

Just like any parent who was proud of their child's accomplishments. Like any parent who wanted to tell anyone who would listen. You know the kind of parent; they especially want to show off if they think it'll impress the other person.

If you are a parent, you understand this concept very well. What parent could pass up a perfect opportunity to show off how proud they were of their child?

And, just like most children who don't understand what their parents were doing, Job was confused and didn't understand why God would do this to him. He was a good man. Even so, God picked Job to be tested.

"Was it unfair for God to allow Job to suffer over what was basically an argument between God and Satan?"

From Got Answers:  

"A surface reading of the book of Job usually evokes a reaction such as “Why is God making a ‘bet’ with the devil? God is being unfair to Job!” If we are honest and not just trying to defend God, He seems at first like some kind of cosmic ogre. God not only wagered Satan over the outcome of Job’s trials, but He actually provoked the bet (Job 1–2). To make matters worse, Job never finds out why he was afflicted in the first place. This is very disturbing for those who hope to see God as just, gracious and loving and not just “playing” with us as if we were pawns on a chessboard. So, in a way, the story of Job puts God on trial. To really understand what is going on in Job, we need to evaluate how this “trial” is litigated in the book’s argument." 

For further information, please click here.

Job’s friends and wife all told Job to curse God for the calamities that had fallen on him.

“His wife said to him, “are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” Job 2:9

“He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job 2:10

Job trusted in God, he concluded that trouble from God was better than comfort and ease without God. He was confident that God has his best interest at heart, even though he count not understand how that could be true in his present situation.

The Lord Himself said, “I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.” Isaiah 45:7

So where does that leave us in our current time? And, how does this fit in with my thinking Job and I were separated at birth? 


Well, let me tell you that God must be so proud me. That has to be the reason why my life has gone the way it has. Otherwise, what I learned about Job doesn't matter. And I don't believe that. I believe that God loves me and is proud of me.

Challenges and Trials of Suffering are God's way of building our Trust in Him.

I believe that it's absolutely true that bad things happen to good people. I also believe that God never gives you more than He thinks you can handle.

I just never realized I could handle so much in my life at one time. 


I know God has a plan for me. I continue to pray for guidance and direction to follow it, patience to wait for it, and knowledge to know when it comes.

God is working on me. I'm unfinished. As in the song by Mandisa.

God wants His voice to be the only voice I hear. I must listen for Him to speak to me.


God's timing is perfect; never early, never late. I must have patience, I must wait, I must trust.

When God permits suffering, He also provides comfort. I believe in Him, and I have faith that He will be my victory.







He is in control. The adage, "Let Go and Let God" is not something people "parrot" to give you comfort. It's guidance of faith.

"As long as you know that God is for you, it doesn't matter who is against you." -- Romans 8:31







One of my favorite verses is:


"I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength." -- Philippians 4:13

I swear to you, don't lose sight of God's guidance. It may be subtle as the soft flutter of a ladybug's wing, or as wild as a massive storm in the middle of the ocean. Regardless, pay attention!

I sure wish I did.

Too bad I wasn't looking when he was showing me. It would have made things so much easier. But, then, this isn't about making things easy, is it?

Was it coincidence that I learned, almost too late, that I should have been focusing on my faith in God to set a path for me to follow?

I don't think so. I think, like Job, I had to experience all that I did to become the person I am now.

I needed to learn patience.

True justice requires patience. A lot of patience.






Do you remember this quote?

"Ours is not to reason why, ours is to do or die." 

It was by Alfred Lord Tennyson.








The same can be applied to Jesus when he said, "You don't understand what I'm doing now, but someday you will" -- John 13:7

Paul tells us in Romans, 

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” -- Romans 12:12

My life-long walk with Christ, as I trusted God and believed in His protective angels, put me through the following major traumatic situations. Through it all, Jesus was my ROCK. :

•   A sexually abusive adopted father from 
childhood to 13 years old – concluding in my first suicide attempt

•   After joining the USMC and transferred to Twenty-Nine Palms Marine Corps Base in California, I was drugged and repeatedly gang-raped by male marines (I refuse to use the capital ‘M’; they don’t deserve it.)

•   Surviving a cross over to death during my third and last childbirth - a son - in which I was on bed rest for the entire pregnancy. My son and I both nearly died. 

•   A car accident, in which I should never have survived - extracted, sent to the ER, with a compound compression fracture of the lower lumbar. Discovering Congenital Spinal Stenosis with no treatment option. Eventually the spinal canal will narrow to the point my spinal cord will be crushed and I will no longer walk.

•   An emotionally, physically abusive first husband whose last actions and words to me before I left, was a violent rape, him placing a loaded .357 handgun on the headboard of our bed and the words “Don’t close your eyes tonight, you might not wake up.”

•   A rear-ending by a Phoenix city bus that sent my three children and me to the hospital. We were crushed between the bus from behind and the car it pushed us into.

•   A hypnotherapist’s sexual abuse under treatment.

•   An unfortunate 2nd marriage, which I regretted as soon as it happened.

•   An emergency hysterectomy to remove a pre-cancerous cervix and uterus.

•   Stalking and threats from 1st husband and the Mexican Mafia - resulting in a judge and sheriff advising me to take my children and pack up, don’t tell anyone when or where, leave no forwarding information and get away in the middle of the night and go somewhere that my ex-husband and his connections to the Mexican Mafia could not find us. They eventually did and took my children away from me for nearly 6 years.

•   A life-changing, move across the country to Florida, discovering my soul’s mate - the water. A parade of unsuitable lovers in a desperate attempt to fill the void in my heart for someone to love. Another suicide attempt, after a particularly close relationship with a man 11 years my junior. 

•   Discovering my other half and the only man I could ever truly love in a twist of circumstances, where neither of us expected it. He helped me discover my real self, build my self-esteem, and grow with an adventurous spirit that rode a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle. He saw who I was way before I ever knew myself! I love him for that.

•    A brush with death again when I discovered a lump in my breast. The surgeon removed it to do a biopsy and only then determined it was benign. A golf-ball size benign tumor.

•   A life-threatening Thyroid Storm, resulting in Grave’s Disease and medically ordered bed rest in which I could no longer return to work.

•   Running my successful Technical Writing Consulting Firm for three years.

•   Another emergency surgery to remove infected ovaries, which threw me into premature menopause.

•   Beginning my successful career as a published author fulfilling a dream I had since high school.

•   Co-founding the Florida Writers Association.

•   Depression. Wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Medication Resistant Depression, Social Anxiety. Generalized Anxiety. OCD. PTSD. BED.

•   Many attempted suicides

•   Many hospitalizations

•   Two long term hospitalizations

•   Many ECT Treatments (one session was the focus of a local ABC news program during Sweeps Week)

•   Years long battle with lawyers to gain PTSD and disability due to being drugged and raped by 2 marines (Eventually, the final decision was MST (Military Sexual Trauma) PTSD with Major Depressive Disorder, 100% disabled and unemployable)

•   Chronic sleep issues (Insomnia & Narcolepsy) From childhood traumas, rapes, abuses, I knew if I closed my eyes at night bad things would happen, so my mind refused to let my body relax enough to sleep. Severe Narcolepsy episodes of Cataplexy, Sleep Paralysis, Hallucinations

•   Most recently diagnosed with SIADH (Syndrome of Inappropriate Antidiuretic Hormone) after over a year of low sodium, hyponatremia, hospitalizations for critically dangerous low sodium, many falls with fractures of hip, elbow, shoulder, etc.

•   Grieving the loss of 25 years of writing after a "perfect storm" of events caused my thumb drive, back up, and back up to the back up, to all be lost at the same time. This gave me an opportunity to have long talks with God about my future, what His plans were, where He wanted me to go, and how. This resulted in studying Christian Counseling and doing pro bono counseling, Find Your Heart's Joy Christian Counseling / Coaching was born.

•   I already have shown some signs of dementia, although nothing to cause concern, but we all know where it's heading.

•   Losing my best friend, soul mate, protector, and Emotional Therapy dog for PTSD & Anxiety after 14 years to cancer. 

See the final in Part 4

Cast All Your Anxieties On Him

We've all experienced anxiety in one form or another. Flying can cause anxiety. Losing your cell phone can cause anxiety. Even worrying about your child can cause anxiety. It's a normal human emotion. Some might even call it nervousness. You might experience it if you're having a problem at work, before taking a test or worrying about making an important decision. I'm deathly afraid of snakes. That's a form of anxiety.

There are many forms of anxiety: Anxiety Disorders such as Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Specific Phobias, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. For people suffering from these conditions the worrying and fear can sometimes lead to an agonizing life. You can seek medical attention or the help of a therapist to help you deal with your anxiety and worry issues. You can also seek the guidance and counseling of your local church minister. They understand how worry and anxiety can cause pain and suffering in a person's life. The jumbled thoughts, sleepless nights, and run-on list of worry that fills your mind are only part of what occurs when suffering from anxiety and worry.

According to James P. Gills, M.D., who wrote Exceeding Gratitude for the Creator's Plan, "the presence in our lives of the sin of commission - worry - can also be a result of failing to appreciate God. To worry is to not view life in relation to God's sovereignty, design, and faithfulness. Worry emanates from a life that is distracted and diverted into a self-centered perspective that is self-destructive, unproductive, and joyless."

Anxiety and worry are not uncommon in biblical times and are referenced quite thoroughly in the Bible. In the book of Deuteronomy, we see the Israelites hearing Moses' final words before they enter the promised land. He challenged them to obey the Lord faithfully and reject all forms of idolatry. Much is written in Deuteronomy about what would happen to the people for not obeying and how they would receive blessings if they did so. The Lord promised to give the people "an anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, and a despairing heart." (Deuteronomy 28:65)

God wants us to understand something about Him, and He works in ways so that we might know. But He wants us to repent so He can offer even greater insight to us when we believe by faith. The Israelites had seen many miracles and had been delivered miraculously from Egypt. Even so, their hearts remained unrepentant so that they could not understand or appreciate what God had done for them. Though God offered them understanding, He never gave it because of their stubbornness. Now Moses urged them to accept God's covenant and choose life.

Many of God's chosen people wrestled with anxiety and worry. Job suffered extreme loss which was humiliating and caused him great pain. "The churning inside me never stops, days of suffering confront me." Job 30:27

But, there is great comfort to find in God's words as well to ease the anxiety and worry in your life. In 1 Peter 5:7 we find the verse, "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." God knows you better than you know yourself. He suffers with you and wants to care for you.

Believing in God can help ease your anxiety. In John 14:1, the verse states "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me." 

Talking to God about your troubles that cause you anxiety and worry can help. It doesn't have to be anything formal, the most fervent and heartfelt prayers are those spoken spontaneously from the heart. Remember this, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7

I have suffered from anxiety disorders and worry for many, many years. It's not a personal weakness, a character flaw, or brought on by poor upbringing. They are real issues that need a combination of care, strength, and faith.

I have persevered through many battles in my life, leaving me scarred, wounded, but not down. I draw on God's love and His son, Jesus Christ's support.

I'll leave you with this, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

God has great plans for you and your life. He does not want to see you suffering. Find a way to open your heart and let Him in and bring you joy, peace and happiness.

Your Sister in Christ,
Vicki

7 Cardinal Rules in Life

I've found out that there are seven cardinal rules in Life.

Yep. Life. The big "L".

Did you know there were seven? I thought a lot more. But, here we can distill it down to seven. I'll help you out.

In reverse order.

7. Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world.  Did you think you owned all the problems? Can't be bothered with just your own, you have to take ownership of everyone else's problems as well? Well, knock it off. Forget everyone else's problems and worry about your own.
There. That's outa here.

6. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you. Well, here we go again, wanting to be in charge. This one is giving you permission to be in charge of your own happiness. Just don't let anyone else be in charge of it. Not their problem. See number 7 above.

5. Stop thinking too much. It's alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it. Whoa. Pretty big one, eh? Least used sentence in the world: "I don't know." Everyone thinks they have to have an answer. It's okay to say, "I don't know."

4. Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about. That's really what it's all about, right? Not knowing what the other person's journey is? I get that. I have Bipolar Disorder, I don't expect anyone else to understand that, regardless of walking a mile in my shoes. But, in return, I don't want to change shoes with you, either. I'm comfortable in mine. Yours might pinch my toes.

Besides, the Bible says that Christians are not to judge each other. So, don't. Okay?

3. Time heals almost everything, give it time. That's a good one to think about, don't you think? We really need to just give some things enough time to work themselves out and heal.

2. What others  think of you is none of your business. I had to re-read that sentence a couple of times before it made sense. Now it makes perfect sense. I don't care what you think of me, it doesn't matter. The only person who is subject to my thoughts is God. He thinks I'm a pretty darn good person. I happen to agree with Him. Enough said.

1. Make peace with the past so it won't screw up the present. I guess I know why that's number one. It's a big point to make. It's all about forgiveness. You forgive yourself. You forgive others. You forget your past. It's done, over. Move on.

So, those cardinal rules aren't so bad. Can you live with them? Now that I've gone through all seven, I think they're worth living.

What about you?

Giving Thanks for Walking Peacefully with the Lord

This past Sunday our minister gave a wonderful sermon. He called it "Contentment Brings Thanksgiving". Afterward, in Bible School, our teacher asked us to think about what we were thankful for and why.

I'm going to pose the same question to you: What are your thankful for and why?

We are thankful for so many things in our lives. We could makes lists that number in the hundreds. Are you thankful for your family? Of course. Thankful for pets? You bet. Friends? Yes. If you thought about it you could make a list so long you'd be amazed.

But, here is the bigger question. Why are you thankful for each of these things?

Is it because you love them? Because they love you? They support you? They provide you with a calmness or peacefulness?

Are you thankful for them because God put them in your life?

Nothing in your life is by chance. God knows your story. He knows all the characters in it and what the plot is and how it all works out.

God wrote your story long before you were born. He loves you. He sent His son, Jesus, to walk among the world to give peace and help others find peace.

Walk peacefully with Jesus every day. Don't be shy about praying to Him to ask Him to show you how.

Or, look in His word and He will teach you.

"The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."" -- Exodus 33:14

"The Lord gives strength to His people, the Lord blesses His people with peace." -- Psalms 29:11

When you don't know what to do. Wait. Trust in the Lord to lead you. Follow Him. Walk with Him. He will bless you with peace.

Thank Jesus frequently as you walk throughout the day. When you do this you will soon learn how to pray without ceasing. With this ability, you will have a direct connection to God at all times.

So, what are you thankful for?

And, why?

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." -- Psalms 118:24

The conclusion of our minister's sermon was this "Be content with what you have, never with who you are."

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." -- Philippians 4:11

Have a blessed day.

Image credit: photoestelar / 123RF Stock Photo

Image credit: kjekol / 123RF Stock Photo

Five Minute Friday - Imagine

It's time for the "Five Minute Friday" blogging post. The inspiration comes from Lisa Jo Baker. 

What you do is set your timer for five minutes and write whatever you want according to the prompt Lisa places on her blog every Friday. Then you go back, link your blog and give support to those who posted before you. And, we connect on Twitter with #FiveMinuteFriday.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

Imagine.

Imagine a world with no hate, bigotry, violence, crime. I do. I think about going to that world some day. Not now. I have too much living to do. But, some day. God's promise is a world of everlasting joy. I look forward to everlasting joy and peace. 

But not now.

I'm not finished yet with this world. I'm not finished yet trying to teach it things about me and Bipolar and Anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I'm not finished learning about my children and my grandchildren.

No, not now.

I have so much living left to do. But, I can imagine what life will be like when I get to heaven. Such a wondrous place. Full of love and peace and harmony. The riches of the kingdom all for me. Just for believing in Christ and taking Him into my heart and becoming a child of Christ.

I'm still waiting.

Still living with my husband and our pets. Still enjoying the gifts God has given to me here.

Stop.

Get What You Want Out of Life

Do we ever get what we want out of life? How many of us really do? Do we even know what we want?

That's the hard part, isn't it? If you really sit down and think about it, what do you really want out of life. Did you see the movie "The Bucket List?" Now, that made me think about what I really wanted out of life.

Thinking about what I want out of life, and getting what I want out of life, can be two very different things. We must work very hard to make the both of them come together.

* As far as traveling goes, I'd love to see Greece and Rome some day. Oh, and to travel to Australia.

* I'd like to settle into retirement in a place in the Florida Keys or near enough that I can enjoy them on a regular weekly basis.

* I'd like to put my stamp on life somehow by making an important contribution. What it is, yet, I'm not sure, but I'd like people to say that I was good at what I did and it made people happy.

* I'd like to become a foster home for rescue American Eskimo dogs.

There's a quote that seems appropriate. It's from Logan Pearsall Smith, who lived from 1865 - 1946. He said, "There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second."

So, I ask you to make it your mission in life. Know what you want. Get it. Then enjoy it.

Peace to you.