Battling a Life Long Disorder

Hello,

My name is Julie Fast and I have bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with the illness in 1995 at age 31. I created a treatment plan in 1999 that is now used by people all over the world to manage the illness. I have been close to suicide too many times to count and have had destructive manic episodes since the age of 17. I'm the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You're Depressed. I wrote all of these books when I was depressed and often psychotic.

Bipolar disorder is a rotten illness.

I'm writing you on behalf of a person who cares about you very much. This person has been diagnosed with the illness bipolar disorder and is concerned you may not understand the reality and seriousness of the diagnosis. I hope that reading this letter can open a window of understanding to help you see that although bipolar disorder can look like someone is faking, whining, lying, making excuses, causing you trouble, making waves, being weak or just making it all up, it's not. It's a illness that originates in the brain. It's a physical illness that comes out in emotional ways, which is why it's so hard for people to understand.

Here are some interesting details about bipolar disorder:

- As with any major illness, people with bipolar disorder share the same symptoms- the symptoms are so similar for people around the world that I can list what a person says, thinks and does during certain mood swings without knowing them. This is quite a party trick! Thus, it's not random emotional behavior that causes problems, but a very structured set of symptoms that lead to a bipolar disorder diagnosis.

- Bipolar disorder is under diagnosed because of the reasons you may feel it isn't real- it looks like those of us with the illness just need to get a handle on our emotions! The problem is that we can't without the proper treatment. If we could handle our emotions, then the overwhelming symptoms of bipolar disorder would be easy to manage.

- Bipolar disorder affects an estimated 17,000,000 million people in the US alone. I think this is a ridiculously low number as I meet people with a bipolar diagnosis almost everywhere I go. It's important to get this into perspective- it's estimated that around one million people in the US have HIV/Aids - one million. Compare that to the 17 million who have bipolar disorder. You probably know a lot more about AIDS than bipolar, but the chance of your knowing someone with AIDS is very slim. You already know someone with bipolar disorder and they need your help.

Bipolar disorder has killed far, far more people in the US than AIDS.

- Bipolar disorder as an illness has not increased in the past 50 years, but there is a lot more awareness these days which makes it seem like doctors are going crazy with the diagnosis! Awareness is a good thing- the diagnoses are real.

- I write treatment plans and can't survive without one, but there is a fact that no one with the illness can deny:
Without medications, the life quality for a person with bipolar disorder is very, very low.
This means that most people with bipolar disorder need medication treatment. Just as people with cancer need chemotherapy.

- All people with bipolar disorder will struggle with relationship issues, work problems, physical health, parenting, cooking, going to school, thinking, traveling, etc, etc at some point in their lives. We all get overwhelmed very easily. Our struggles, as you may have noticed are far more emotional and often out of control than what is considered the norm.

- Anything that causes an emotional response can lead to a bipolar disorder mood swing. Think of it this way- if our lives are a teeter totter- with our stable selves in the middle, we all have to struggle to keep our lives in balance. Get a picture of that teeter totter in your mind and then put a 10 ton weight on one side and see how hard it will be to find the middle stability. That is what it's like to have bipolar disorder- it's a ten ton weight that we didn't ask for. If it were golf, our handicap would be off the charts!

When the weight is too heavy and the balance is too hard, people kill themselves to get out of the pain.

- Up to 20% of people with bipolar disorder kill themselves. I get letters from family members quite often thanking me for my work - and then giving me the news that their son, daughter, father, mother, lover, grandmother, etc has died. They thank me because they know that we all tried to help the person who had the illness called bipolar disorder- but the illness won. Just as cancer wins sometimes. Suicide is NOT a weakness. It's an outcome of an illness that was just too strong. The 10 ton weight on their shoulders was just too much.

As you can imagine, I could go on forever here, but I do have a final question:
If someone who loves you has said they have bipolar disorder and you have your doubts of the diagnosis- or even feel that the whole thing is a sham, why do you feel they have told you the news?

They have told you because they are scared and need your love and support. Bipolar disorder is an illness that has been documented for over 2000 years. It's a killer- just as cancer is a killer. The medications can be harsh and without support, the person with bipolar disorder can lead a life of constant hell. It needs treatment and the best way for treatment to work is through education especially for the people who love us.

I recently asked my mailing list to send in questions for my radio show- my mother was the guest and I wanted to get an idea of what information they needed. Hundreds of people replied and many people asked how they could get someone they cared about to believe the diagnosis and give them help, especially around medications. This is why I wrote this

I encourage you to let go of your anger, frustration, sadness and disbelief - these feelings are all normal by the way- and see bipolar disorder for what it is- a very serious illness. Someone you love has bipolar disorder and they need your help. The rest is up to you.

Julie A. Fast www.bipolarhappens.com
Julie Fast - www.BipolarHappens.com

P.O. Box 86728
Portland, OR
97286
US


Like Julie, I have Bipolar as well. And I'll be on BlogTalk Radio on May 15th 2008 at 12 noon EST to talk about it with Beverly Mahone. For an encore presentation, I'll be on Straighttalk at 8:00 EST that same evening for an open discussion. Follow the link, sign up and you'll receive confirmation and a phone number to call and a code to use to access the teleseminar. The list of teleseminars are to the right of the signup form.

Come listen and ask questions. I look forward to "seeing" you there.

Baby Boomers Diva Girlfriends Retreat Afterglow

One word.

Empowered.

That's what I took from the retreat last weekend. Empowered. I don't know if "took" is the right word. More like it was given to me. Bestowed upon me. Anointed upon me.

Divas. Divinely. Inspired. Vivaciously. Anointed. Divas. Wow, did I meet a lot of Divas last weekend. Women from all over the country came together in spirit, song, friendship, and love to network.



Network in a way that I'd never seen before. We went to workshops. We learned about how to plan for retirement. We learned about ways of "networking" on the Internet. We even learned how to improve our physical image, but more than that we learned how to network our hearts.

Friendships bonded, addresses exchanged. Business cards flurried back and forth. I basked in the warmth generated.

Beverly Mahone gets all the credit for creating the first of many annual Diva Girlfriend Retreats. She worked herself to exhaustion, creating a memorable experience for all of us. I even created a photo album of our memories. Code word "boomer". Many of us were part of the audience of a special PBS taping of a Baby Boomer Q&A of a panel of experts. It went exceptionally well.

One of our special guests of honor was Bern Nadette Stanis the actor who portrayed Thelma from the television show "Good Times". I bought her book and can't wait to delve into it.

I brought a suitcase full of clothes and I used them all, as we changed several times throughout the days for television shows, receptions, workshops, workouts, pageants, pajama parties, etc.

Did I mention pajama party? Yes, I did!

What a HOOT! A DJ played music, there was plenty of chocolate and drinks, and we danced and danced and danced. I know because I woke up Sunday morning with aches from muscles I don't remember ever using in a long time!

Not only are my Diva friends full of love and laughter they are truly spiritual. The invocation on Sunday morning moved me to near tears and made my heart sing. Never had I felt closer to God than then.

The time for us to say good bye came much too fast. We lingered as long as we could, but eventually we had to go. We hugged, we kissed, we said our good byes again. We promised to stay in touch. We had our e-loop to go back to. And our memories to take home. As for me, I'll never be the same again.

Empowered.

Meet the Diva of the Baby Boomer Divas - Beverly Mahone!

I had the most wonderful opportunity to be invited by an extraordinary woman to join a unique group of women called Baby Boomer Divas. Divas. Divinely. Inspired. Vivacious. Anointed. Women with power. Women with class. Women with sass. And a lot of flash. Hot flashes!!

Beverly Mahone is the brainstorm behind this wave of excitement and I'd like to introduce her to you as I ask her a few questions about the weekend retreat she has planned for us baby boomer divas. (If you'd like to see what's planned visit here) If you'd like to learn more about Beverly visit her website

Vicki: Beverly what was your inspiration for the Baby Boomer Girlfriends' Spring Break Weekend Getaway?

Beverly: Initially, the idea was to have a Pajama Party for boomer women over 40. In my mind, I visualized us all gathered together in a hotel somewhere laughing, dancing and sharing hot flash stories! But as the idea began to evolve and more people wanted to help out with the event, it expanded becoming a three-day weekend. The concept of calling it a "Spring Break Weekend Getaway" comes from the fact that many of us used to go on Spring Break when we were in college and the memory of this time was fun. Although we've grown up and matured, we can still have fun. In an interview I recently did I told the audience this: "We spend 362 days out of the year taking care of husbands, children, and pets; dealing with obnoxious co-workers, traffic jams and nosey neighbors-----but for three days (April 18-20) we are going to throw caution to the wind in Daytona Beach, FL and do something just for us." Of course, it's a different kind of fun but it gives us an opportunity to socialize and network with fellow boomer women around the country.

Vicki: What is your main goal for the Event?

Beverly: I don't have just one main goal. I want this event to inspire women in many different ways. In addition to being a fun weekend, it is also designed to educate and empower us as women. There will be seminars to address our concerns and needs as we grow older. This is also the opportunity to network and fellowship with women you probably wouldn't be able to connect with otherwise. There are women coming from Ohio, Tennessee, Maryland, North Carolina, New Mexico and even as far away as California. For me, personally, I'm excited because this is the first time I will get to meet fellow members of the Boomer Diva Nation Group. I met one woman (Linda Alexander) last year but I've only associated with the others through online networking so this will be an absolute thrill for me! When it's all over, I want women to walk away with renewed strength and encouragement. Our group's motto is: Women on the Move and Making a Difference. I hope they will take that statement to heart and go back to their home communities and be the change they want to see in their worlds.

Vicki: What is the most unexpected thing to occur since putting this event together?

Beverly: The most unexpected thing to happen was getting a telephone call from someone representing People Magazine saying they might be interested in covering the event! I was in the grocery store the evening I got the call. You would've thought I had just been told I won the lottery. I was rather loud with my excitement and enthusiasm! To think that People Magazine had heard about this event and wanted to cover it was simply amazing. I was so curious as to how they found me and the young lady said they "googled" Spring Break and up popped my event. I was instructed to ask the fellow members of Boomer Diva Nation to share their thoughts about attending the event so I immediately everyone and as I understand, they were flooded with emails from our group. We haven't heard yet whether or not they will actually be coming but just the fact that they contacted me was a true blessing and a moment that took my breath away!

Vicki: What is next for Boomer Diva Nation?

Beverly: First of all, I'm already planning for the next Spring Break! :) As far as Boomer Diva Nation goes, we are continuing to grow. We're actually global with Diva sisters in Australia. There is so much talent in this group and I want to make sure the whole world knows about the wonderful resources these women have to offer. One of our missions is to offer an annual scholarship of some kind. We're still working out the details for that.

If you missed the blog tour post, click here

And please be sure to check out tomorrow’s post for this blog tour here

Phantom Pleasures by Julie Leto - Give Away

My friend, and great author, Julie Leto is doing some great giveaways at her blog, http://www.plotmonkeys.com, starting today!

She's not only giving away a chapter a day of her upcoming paranormal romance, PHANTOM PLEASURES, but she's also sweetening the pot by offering a $20 Amazon/Borders gift card per day to anyone who leaves a comment.

Julie's Website

Rescuing the Unrescuable

I met a true escape artist today.

A little brown and white terrier. He followed me home from my walk in the neighborhood. So friendly and happy. He took to me right away. He had no tag. I thought I would do a good deed and put him in my back yard and try to locate his owner.

In the back yard he went.

I continued my walk and about ten minutes later, I hear him running behind me. He’d gotten out, somehow.

We walked back to my house, I put him back in the yard, I continued with my walk, and not less then five minutes, he was back by my side.

We walked back to the house, I put him in the yard, and this time I watched. He poked his head through a loose board and out he came. Aha! I put him back in the yard and put a cement block in front of the board. Problem, solved.

Or so I thought.

I finished my walk, and when I returned home, he was gone. Vanished. I called for him. "Hear puppy dog!" I clapped my hands loudly. I’d almost given up, when I saw a streak of white and brown in the neighbor’s yard and there he was, at my side, jumping up and down, so excited to see me.

I put him back in the yard. Watched to see how he got out. Then put another cement block in front of the hole he’d discovered. Crafty little character.

While I had him in the back yard. I took pictures of him thinking I’d make a couple of posters and put them up at the end of the street to let neighbors know that I’d found him. He knew a few commands and was very photogenic. I gave him water and food and he made himself at home making his mark around the yard.

I left to go to Curves. All the while thinking how I would design the poster. I came home and hurried to the back yard to greet my temporary guest.

Gone.

I don’t know how he got out this time.

I called and called for him.

This time no response.

I worry about where he is. I look at the pictures I printed and smile. He was only in my life for a very short time but he left a lasting impression.

You know, people are like that too. Some people, no matter what you try to do for them, just can’t be helped. You have to learn to let go. For your on sanity. I’m not saying give up on everyone.

There’s a fine line between those that need our help and those that can’t be helped. What’s the difference?

They have to want our help.

You’ll be able to tell the difference.. deep in your gut. Listen to it.
As for that little dog, I want to think he knew his way back home and that’s where he is now. I’ll continue to watch the neighborhood for him. If I see him, I’ll try again to find a way to help locate his owner. I don’t think he really wants to roam the streets.

That’s no life for a dog.

I've been tagged

I've Been Tagged: 6 Unimportant Things About Myself

I think I was tagged before, but I didn't know what it was for. Now I know. So here goes.

They say the rules of this meme are simple, but you know me, if it's simple, I'm sure there's a way for me to mess it up. Anyway, let's get started:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Post the rules on your blog.

3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.

4. Tag six random people at the end of your blog entry.

5. Let the tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blogs.


SIX UNIMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT MYSELF:

1. I like the color pink.

2. I collect teddy bears, oh, and shot glasses from states I've been.

3. My favorite song of the moment is "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves.

4. My father wanted to name me Victoria, but couldn't spell it, so named me Vicki.

5. I was a US Marine where I met my first husband.

6. I have the potential to be a packrat if I'm not careful.

Now, I must link back to Karen Lingefelt and I will tag Queen Jaw Jaw, Pop Art Diva, Mary Williams, Miss Kitty, Trish, Ok, that's it. I found six. Whew. Now, let's see who comes out to play.

Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

1.) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2.) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3.) Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4.) When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to________ today.'

5.) Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6.) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7.) Always pray and make time to exercise.

8.) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of Six.

9.) Dream more while you are awake.

10.) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

11.) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12.) Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13.) Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14.) Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15.) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class .......but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16.) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17.) Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18.) Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19.) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20.) Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21.) You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22.) Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

23.) Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24.) Ladies - Go on and burn those 'special' scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear our fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Everyday is special.

25.) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26.) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27.) Forgive everyone for everything.

28.) What other people think of you is none of your business.

29.) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!

30.) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31.) Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.

32.) Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33.) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides remember?!

34.) The best is yet to come. (in Heaven)

35.) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36.) Do the right thing!

37.) Call your family often.

38.) Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for __________.' Today I accomplished _________.

39.) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40.) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH. LIFE'S A GIFT ... UNWRAP IT! Have a Blessed day. Please share with friends!

T.G.I.F. - TODAY GOD IS FIRST

Getting into the Christmas Spirit with a Cute Survey

You can take this survey yourself. Just copy it from here, delete my answers and add your own, then post it in your blog. Pass the spirit of Christmas along.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I love wrapping presents. I've used
paper and bags both.

2. Real tree or artificial? artificial.. it lasts forever and is better
for the environment and won't harm my dog or parrot.

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually right after Thanksgiving

4. When do you take the tree down? Right after New Year's Day

5. Do you like eggnog? No, but my husband does. Yuck.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Spirograph, I played with it for
hours making the coolest designs

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. I had two, but gave one to my
daughter and her husband because they didn't have one.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My husband. Anything he needs or wants, he
gets on his own. And he's so darn picky.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Right now, it's my grandson. I just get a
gift card to KB Toys. He lives in Arizona (I'm in Florida) so makes for
easy gift giving.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Doilies

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. I love the whole process of
writing each card, putting the stamp on the envelope, mailing the card
and then imagining the recipient opening it up and reading my note.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Charlie Brown Christmas or How the Grinch
Stole Christmas

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? November. I shop online
and send direct shipments to recipients to get there by Christmas.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Probably.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Tie between my pumpkin pie and
homemade decorated sugar cookies.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Both, but never at the same
time. Pick one or the other.

17. Favorite Christmas song? The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole

18. Travel for Christmas or stay at home? Definitely stay home.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Dasher, Dancer,
Prancer, Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen, then RUDOLF

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? I've done both. I just don't put
Santa Claus on top of the tree.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People forgetting the
Christmas spirit and stores not playing Christmas music or saying "Merry
Christmas"

23. What I love most about Christmas? How for a few days every year,
people are extra nice to each other.

Happy Thanksgiving

Forever on Thanksgiving Day
The heart will find the pathway home.


-Wilbur D. Nesbit

Writing a Book: Free Teleseminar

Is there a book inside of you just waiting to come out? Have you
always wanted to write but just didn't know how to begin? If you've
answered YES to either of these questions you need to sign up for the
Writing a Book: How to get Started Teleseminar.

On Thursday, November 29, 2008 five fabulous writers will share with
you their insights on how they got started. Believe it or not, there
is no one perfect formula for writing a book and these experts will
explain how they did it:

Monica Diggs
Kim Sims
Vicki M. Taylor
Kathie Thomas
Debra Shiveley Welch

The free teleseminar will begin at 8pm EST on Thursday, November 29. Seating
is limited so register early to guarantee you will be able to get your spot.

To register, go to: http://www.talk2bev.com Call-in instructions will be sent after your registration.

Gratitude: What am I grateful for?

When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.

-Elie Wiesel

It's that time of year when we say "thanks" for all that we've received throughout the year. What am I thankful for?

In no particular order:

My grandson
My children
My husband
My dog
My parrot
My health
My doctor
My country
Our American Troops
My God
My soon to be born granddaughter
My friends
My neighbors
My family (my mom, my sisters, my brother, aunts, uncles, inlaws, etc)
My home
My Baby Boomer Women friends
My Baby Boomer Diva friends
My Myspace friends
My writing friends
My Blog friends
My new computer
My husband's technical computer abilities
My neighborhood
The beautiful planet Earth
The inventor of the Alphasmart Dana
My publisher
My pets' vets
Digital Cameras
My gift for writing
The time I have to write
The time I have to spend with my family
My marriage
My new screened in back patio
Each beautiful new day
My ability to see, even though I have to wear glasses, I can still see the colors in the world
My ability to hear the birds in the trees and a child's laugh
My ability to touch, so I can still hold my husband's hand
My ability to walk, even though I was in a wheelchair four years ago.

Today is my birthday. And I am grateful for one more candle on my birthday cake.

Hell Has Frozen Over

Has Hell frozen over?

Really? It hasn't?

I could have sworn that I'd own a Mac computer only when Hell froze over. Or other words to that affect.

My computer died earlier this week. It was a Dell laptop. I'd probably killed it considering how much I made it do and the fact that I used it probably a good 8 to 12 hours a day or longer. It was old anyway. Probably four years old. I think that's long in computer years, isn't it? Isn't the life expectancy of a computer decrease significantly the moment you remove it from the store and then the day the warranty expires it goes on life support?

So, four years of good service. Not bad for the little laptop that I used as my desktop. Oh, let me tell you how it died. It wasn't anything dramatic or spectacular like sparks or flying pixels. I hadn't rebooted it in a while and I wanted to use my scanner so I thought I'd reboot and clear the memory cache before I started scanning my bills. I closed all the files and applications I had open. Then I clicked on the Shut Down button.

It shut down.

I waited. Giving it some time to rest. The poor thing needed it. Then pressed the Power button.

The computer whirred, the DVD drive spun, then stopped.

Nothing.

I waited. I waited some more. Then I pushed the Power button again. The computer whirred, the DVD drive spun, then stopped.

Nothing.

You'd think by now I'd be freaking out. Amazingly, I was calm. I don't know why. My freakin' computer wouldn't start and I didn't have a recent back up. (I know, I know. 40 lashes with a wet noodle. My most recent back up was July 2007) Although, to be fair, all of my important documents were stored on an external drive.

I didn't even call my husband and cry over the telephone.

I got up from my desk chair. Turned off my office light. Took my parrot and dog with me and we watched Grey's Anatomy episodes I'd recorded until my husband came home from work. When he came home, I let him get relaxed and situated before I said, "oh, by the way, I think my computer died today."

Me. Calm. I have a panic attack at the drop of a hat and here I am calmly telling my husband my computer died. His solution? It's time for a Mac.

Now, my husband and I have come from a long life of using PC's. DOS was the language of choice and we only reluctantly accepted Windows when it was introduced by Microsoft. Although, as a programmer, he was pretty hooked on UNIX too. But, for desktops and laptops, we went with PC's. For years. Decades. When Mac arrived on the world's doorstep, we scoffed and scorned its simpleton ways. Only people who didn't know how to use a computer would use a Mac, we taunted. With a Mac, now anyone could use a computer, we said disdainfully.

I admit it. We were PC snobs.

Then, suddenly, this year, my husband starts making noises about wanting a Mac. I look at him as if he just grew a horn from the center of his forehead. I have to admit, most of what he told me about them went in one ear and out the other. A temporary phase, I told myself. He'll come to his senses.

But, he didn't.

One day, he came home with a Mac laptop. I mean, he brought it right in our house! And, it stayed. He actually installed programs and copied over files from his old laptop. He was serious. The more he used it the more he loved it and sang its praises. For my husband to love a Mac meant one thing. Apple had improved their operating system and the way they ran programs. No longer just a box with a silhouette of an apple on it, but it had power and performance too. My husband, the die-hard PC programmer, was convinced. Then, he uttered those dreadful words, "We should get you a Mac, too."

I resisted. I balked. I argued. For every reason I gave for not wanting one, he would answer with two or three reasons why a Mac was better. There were Mac versions of the software I needed. If there weren't, Mac could run Windows in parallel. The darn guy started to convince me. Was I betraying my PC brethren?

So, here I am. Using a Mac. After my laptop died.

Hey, do you think my husband had anything to do with...? Nah.

I'm not hating my new Mac. The transition was painless, actually. So, I click a red button on the left instead of an X on the right to close a window. It still closes. My e-mail works. My Internet works. I can open my Word documents. I can even update my website like I did before, using the same software. So, I've mellowed in my old age. Aren't we supposed to try new things? Well, here I am, a baby boomer, trying new things.

Oh, right. The scanning. That's what started all this in the first place, wasn't it? Well, I must admit, I haven't tried it yet. Maybe next week.

Do Boomer Women Have it All Together?

I think the majority of us Baby Boomer Women maintain a positive outlook to help support a strong sense of self. To others, that may seem like we have it all together. Maybe we do. I think we've become stronger women as we've moved into our boomer years.

For me, keeping a positive attitude works as well. Being negative isn't an option for me. What I've found I've learned through the years is that I have to make time for myself. No one else is going to do it for me.

If I don't go for a walk, no one else is going to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Dear, you really must go take a walk." Well, my dog will remind me that we have to go for a walk, but he's not consciously looking out for me.

Women, in general, have a really hard time putting their needs first. We've had it ingrained in us for so long that we are caretakers and must take care of everyone else before we take care of ourselves.

I think the notion of "having it together" goes along with taking care of ourselves. If we do that, most other issues in our lives have a tendency to fall into place. We're better equipped mentally, physically, and emotionally to handle any bumps that come along our way.

I know that when I feel good about myself and my life, then I tend to think more positive, and when thinking positive, I don't let temporary setbacks get me down. I can overcome self doubt.

When I take care of myself, then I'm better able to take care of others. And that shows in how others perceive us. As boomers, I think we're more secure in how we project ourselves. We're not pretending to be someone we're not.

While growing up, we're our parent's child. A girlfriend, sister, or aunt. Then we're a wife and we try to be the woman our husband wants. We are an employee in a working environment. We become what our bosses ask for, to fulfill our job requirements. When we become mothers, we give ourselves over to being the perfect mom for our children. We try to be all these different personalities, all the while eventually learning who we really are.

We face the reality of who we are to ourselves, seeing our inner self, maybe for the first time. Learning how to take care of ourselves first, gives us the confidence to be the great women we are.

Baby Boomer Women.

I Love Dogs, and this Story Melts Your Heart

My friend's daughter has a chocolate lab that has a unique mission in life. Here is her dog's story.

Barker
The Dog With Two Last Names
Written by Star Johnson

The hot dog, clutched in the hand of a small boy, hovered mere inches from the nose of an 80-pound Chocolate English Lab. In the ordinary world, the hot dog would be history. But when the boy in question is a 2007 Wags-for-Wishes Make-A-Wish child and the Lab is Barker the Therapy Dog, the hot dog is completely safe.

Barker's mom, Sherry Buchbinder, is justifiably proud of her six-year-old Lab's amazing self-discipline. After all, that self-discipline earned Barker the therapy dog equivalent of a Doggie Doctorate in just one year. "Barker is my first Therapy Dog," says Sherry about their success, "I had no idea what to do. It's just him."

But how does such a young Lab (a breed infamous for lengthy puppyhoods) become so responsible so quickly?

Barker's life didn't start out smoothly. "Products" of an unsavory puppymill, Barker and his sister had little defense against the filthy surroundings and complete lack of care. By the time they were rescued by Animal Control Officers, the 10-week-old puppies were deathly ill. Rushed to a veterinary clinic where Sherry's sister-in-law Kim worked, the pups were grimly diagnosed with advanced Parvo. It was hoped the little female would pull through (she did). Barker, however, was not expected to survive.

Resisting the recommendation to "put him down," Kim crusaded to keep the little male alive. Her determination paid off. With a healthy four-month-old puppy in her arms, Kim called Sherry and said, "I've got your dog!" Sherry wasn't looking for a puppy -- she had two dogs of her own, plus two others from a sister staying with her. But Kim insisted the puppy was meant to be hers. And, indeed, it was love at first sight.

Which brings us to how Barker got his name. "I know something about barking!" says one of Barker's fans, a woman owned by a Sheltie (a breed infamous for their barking), "But I've never heard Barker bark." Come to find out Barker isn't named after a behavior, he's named after a person -- Sherry's hero, dear friend and adopted dad, Lynn Barker. "I had fallen in love with the puppy, but was hesitant about bringing him into a home with four other dogs" explains Sherry. "Lynn, who lives right next door, used to raise chocolate labs. He had recently lost his beloved friend Sammi a14-year-old cockapoo. I knew he'd love the puppy, so I asked if he wanted to keep him. It was okay because I knew I'd get to play with him every day." But Lynn did something unexpected, muses Sherry. "He said 'No, he's your dog'." Named in Lynn's honor, Barker Buchbinder is the dog with two last names!

For the first two years of life with Sherry, her husband Rhein, and the other four dogs, Barker was a typical Lab puppy – bouncing around and into everything. That began to change when Sherry underwent knee surgery. "Coming home from the hospital, I worried that Barker was going to bounce around like his usual self and come down on my knee," recalls Sherry. Instead, Barker sat quietly by Sherry's side. "I couldn't believe it," she says. "He just did it on his own."

When Barker turned three, two events occurred that showcased Barker's true potential. First, Sherry underwent two more knee surgeries. And second, Dozer, the family's alpha dog, died. "Barker just stepped up to the plate." Sherry explains. "I was in a wheelchair at first and, eventually, I needed a cane. It was difficult for me to get around. So Barker would get the newspaper and bring in the mail for me." Barker also brought Sherry her various medications. "I painted the bottle caps different colors, so Barker could get the one I needed." Barker became Sherry's indispensable Service Dog.

Barker was five years old when Sherry signed him up for his AKC Canine Good Citizen Certification test. He passed with flying colors. "When the testers, who were from the Hidden Valley Obedience Club, saw how well Barker and I worked together, they kept saying 'We can't believe he's not a therapy dog'," says Sherry. "I didn't know anything about Therapy Dogs, so I asked them a ton of questions. They were so enthusiastic that they inspired me to do what we do."For work, Barker is showered, his teeth are brushed ("That's when he knows we're going to work!"), and his paws are disinfected with gel both at home and again just prior to going into the job site. Barker doesn't mind the several-weekly baths – he thoroughly despises being dirty. "We call him our white collar dog" says dad, Rhein. Returning home from an outing in the great out-of-doors, Barker ran to the shower and jumped in. "It was like he was saying 'Get it off! Get the dirt off!'" Sherry laughs.

Therapy work can be exhausting, for both dog and handler. Sherry and Barker were asked to visit a young ICU patient who had bonded with Barker during earlier visits. "We didn't know it," says Sherry quietly, "but they were going to pull her plug while Barker and I were there. I was totally unprepared. It was really hard for both of us." Barker is a volunteer at Kaiser Permanente hospital in Riverside, California and visit's patients at other area hospital's. He also visits convalescent facilities, senior apartment complexes and works with the Make A Wish Foundation. "If Barker works two days in a row, he just crashes the third day. But if a few days go by and he hasn't gone to work, he'll nudge his vest, make little vocalizations, and stare at me with those big brown eyes."

Training to be a Therapy Dog encompasses lots of touching (paws, ears, tails, etc.), and obedience behaviors (long sit stays, comes, etc.). Dogs are observed in the car, in a variety of public venues (stores, malls, hospitals, etc.), and are subjected to many loud distractions (falling metal chairs, crash carts, confrontations, etc.). Trainers are looking for anything that might cause a dog to react inappropriately.

Like a waved-in-your-face hot dog, for example. Or the time a little girl used Barker's wagging tail as a jump rope. Or the time a small child gripped onto Barker's, ahem, nether-regions. "Training can't possibly prepare you for everything," Sherry admits. "But Barker just takes everything in stride."

Lucky Streak

I think I'm on a lucky streak. I've won a couple of contests and I'm hoping my luck holds out and I win some more. No, I'm not greedy. Just hopeful.

And excited. It's fun to win contests. The randomness of the selection intrigues me.

For instance, the Bird Talk Parrot Romance Novel Giveaway. We entered via e-mail. I don't know how they made their selection randomly, but in whatever way they processed the e-mails, my name came up.

Cool.

I was one of eight winners of the Bird Talk Parrot Romance Novel Giveaway on BirdChannel.com. I'll receive a romance novel with a parrot as one of the characters. I can't wait to see which novel I get. I'll let you know when I receive it.

The second contest wasn't so random. I had to submit a caption for a picture. But, the winning caption is selective. It's based on the site owner's sense of humor. What might be funny to me, might not have been funny to her.

But, it was.

I won first place in the YOU NAME IT! contest hosted by Queen Jaw Jaw. There was a choice of three pictures. The entry was a caption for one of the pictures. You can see the pictures and my caption at Queen Jaw Jaw's site.

Now, if only my luck holds out a little longer I'm entered in a few more contests. I'd love an all expense paid trip to Hawaii. That diamond ring looked pretty nice too.

And, that ten million dollars that Publishers Clearinghouse is giving away ain't too shabby either.

Wish me luck!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.

-Landrum Bolling

There's no use holding a grudge or vowing never to forgive someone. It's not going to change the past. And, it just puts too much stress on you. I've held a grudge for a long time. My past is still the same. The same hurts. The same sad emotions. All the same. It's time to let go. I forgive.

Natural Highs

Read them, think about them, then go enjoy them.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Thanks to an anonymous author.

Writers Take Heart

A bad book is as much of a labor to write as a good one, it comes as sincerely from the author's soul.
Aldous Huxley


Writers take heart, your hard work does not go unrecognized. I hope that all of my books are considered "good" and worthy of the hard work that I put into them.

Isn't that what you want as well?

Would we still be applauded for our efforts if we worked hard and, God forbid, produced a "bad" book? Or, would someone look at a "bad" book and say, "if you only worked harder you could have made it a good book."

Does working harder make your book better?

Who's to measure how hard a writer works on a book? The editor? The reviewer? Maybe. I think it would be the reader. I know, some of you are saying, "no wait, the writer should be the one to measure his/her own work."

Maybe you're right. But, don't we all, deep down inside, want our work to be read by others. Don't we wait, impatiently to hear from those readers how the story made them feel? What were their reactions? Did they like it? Hate it? Don't we then leave it up to the reader to tell us if we've written a good book or not?

Who holds your measuring stick?

Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA by Ellen Meister

I'm very happy to announce the release of Ellen Meister's book, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA.

When a Hollywood location scout comes to Applewood, Long Island and announces that the local elementary school might make the perfect backdrop for an upcoming George Clooney movie, the PTA’s decorum crumbles like a cookie from last week's bake sale.

Enter Maddie, Ruth and Lisa, three women who become the glue that holds the project together...and wind up forming a bond of friendship stronger than anyone had imagined.

A good thing, too, because each of them is about to come apart. Maddie Schein, an ex-lawyer trying as hard to fit in as she is to save her marriage, gets knocked off balance by Jack Rose, an old college friend hell bent on seducing her. Ruth Moss—rich, sexy and outspoken—has more to give and less to enjoy than most people think. Indeed, since her husband's stroke left him embarrassingly uninhibited yet completely impotent, she's more of a caretaker than a wife. And modest Lisa Slotnick, a loving parent who wants nothing more than to fade into the scenery as she tends to her children, must deal with the humiliation of being thrust before the spotlight by her scandalous, alcoholic mother.

When these three get together, a powerful alliance is forged. But is it strong enough to overcome the obstacles to getting the movie made in their town? And will their friendship be enough to mend their hearts and homes? Join them as they reach for the stars...and try to pull off a Hollywood ending of their own.

About the author: A Long Island PTA mom herself, Ellen Meister is no stranger to the scandal and drama of the carpool set. Add a background in writing ad copy and short stories—as well a stint as editor of a literary magazine—and the result is a novelist as dedicated to nuances of language as she is to a storyline that delights on every page.

Meister lives on Long Island with her husband and three children. She writes, she swears, she sings, she dances … all from the front seat of her minivan. This is her first novel.

Learn more about Ellen at her website

Want to read an excerpt, click here

Buy it now at Amazon.com

Did You Ever?

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

-Walter Bagehot

Doing what people say you can't. Hmmm. Did you ever do something just because someone told you you can't?

I have. For sure. As soon as I turned 18 and I knew I had a say about myself and I didn't just have to do what my father said, I definitely did the opposite.

For example. My dad said I couldn't join the Marines. I think his exact words were something along the line of "I won't let you." or "You're not allowed." So, what did I do?

I joined the Marines.

I think it was a good decision. I learned a lot about life and myself. I didn't stay in long. Only a few years. But those years as a Marine gave me confidence I didn't know I had and taught me that I could do things on my own.

What was the next thing my dad told me I couldn't do? Oh yeah. Get married. So, what did I do?

You guessed it!

I got married. To another Marine. Yep. Did I do it just because my dad said I couldn't?

Oh, that's a good question. Looking back, I think I did. My dad said the marriage wouldn't last six months. Well, I showed him.

The marriage didn't last, but it lasted a lot longer than six months. And I had three great kids from it so it couldn't have been all that bad in the beginning.

Did I learn my lesson about arbitrarily doing the thing someone told me I couldn't? Not really. I guess it's in my nature. I hear those words "you can't" and they grate on me. Why can't I? I'll show you!

I'm like that with my health too. In 2002 and 2003 I was using a cane and in a wheelchair. People telling me I can't do this or can't do that. That life as it exists at that point was as good as it was going to get. It wasn't good enough. I wanted more. I wanted to be out of that wheelchair, walking and not with the cane. So, I did it. I refused to give up, so my doctor refused to give up as well.

Where's my wheelchair? Gathering dust in the garage for the last three of four years.

Do I recommend this kind of attitude for others? Not for someone to do blindly. No, I've definitely learned my lesson on that regard. I think about my decisions now. Weigh the consequences. Then make up my mind. I do use some common sense. If my husband says I can't lift that 200 pound table top, I agree with him. I'm not an idiot. I know my back will never be the same again, and I'm going to be careful about how I take care of it. Lifting 200 pound stone tabletops is not on the "can do" list.

So, my advice to you is this: Be your own person. Be smart. Give yourself some credit for knowing what's good for you. Take other people's suggestions on advisement, weigh your options. Then make up your own mind. Live your life. Don't let others live it for you.