Five Minute Friday - Beloved

It's time for the "Five Minute Friday" blogging post. The inspiration comes from Lisa Jo Baker. 

What you do is set your timer for five minutes and write whatever you want according to the prompt Lisa places on her blog every Friday. Then you go back, link your blog and give support to those who posted before you. And, we connect on Twitter with #FiveMinuteFriday.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

"Beloved"

He's been in my life for nearly eighteen years. We've been married for over fifteen. He's my love. My beloved. My truly other half. My husband. He loves me so much it scares me sometimes the depth of his love. There are days when I feel I don't deserve his love. There are days when I can only subsist on his love. He's been with me and supported me through so many rough times. Through the various hospitalizations for Bipolar Disorder. Through all the treatments that worked and didn't work. Through my mania episodes and depression episodes. He's been my constant. My rock. My love. I'm not sure if I can ever describe to him or explain to him how much he means to me. Not to the depth of my emotions. There's just too much there that can't be explained. I adore him. I need him. I can't exist without him. Life surely wouldn't be worth living without him. 

Stop.

Five Minute Friday - Beloved

It's time for the "Five Minute Friday" blogging post. The inspiration comes from Lisa Jo Baker. 

What you do is set your timer for five minutes and write whatever you want according to the prompt Lisa places on her blog every Friday. Then you go back, link your blog and give support to those who posted before you. And, we connect on Twitter with #FiveMinuteFriday.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

My mom and her dog, Niki

All I can think about at the moment is any minute my mom is going to be wheeled into the operating room in Billings, Montana while I wait helplessly here in Florida. She’s having emergency open-heart surgery to correct a blocked artery. It scares the crap out of me that I have no control of what hospital she is in, if it’s a good one, if the doctor is good or even if she has a choice.

I have to wait. And pray. And plead to God to not take my mom away from me today. We had a rough childhood. She and my dad divorced while I was young, and my dad took us kids and sent my mom away. Back in the 60’s and 70’s things like that were done with the wink of an eye and the handshake of a judge.

I didn’t see my mom again until I had had my first daughter. Amber was six months old and I received a telegram with information on it to call my mom. From that moment on we’ve been inseparable. We call each other constantly, visit as often as we can and are totally a part of each other’s life.

Now, my mom’s life is held in the hands of a surgeon I know nothing about. I have to have faith in God that he will guide the surgeon and give him the skills necessary to have a successful outcome.

I love my mom. She’s my number one fan and I’m her number one daughter. I’ll pray for her with all my might and power. My first beloved - My Mom.

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Five Minute Friday

Addendum 2/16/13:

My mom made it through the surgery but then her pressure dropped and the surgeon had to go back and basically do the entire bypass over again to figure out why her pressure dropped so low. She is in ICU in critical condition. The surgeon had a nurse stay with her all night to monitor her. I’m waiting on word from my sisters who are with her in Montana while I wait and freak out here in Florida.