Saturday, March 14, 2009

Fashion Sense or Nonsense?

I started out reading an article on the 6 Rules of Cleavage and it led me to the Top Ten Items You're Too Old to Wear which led me to a book on Amazon titled How Not to Look Old by Charla Krupp. Back at the articles, I followed another link to Mom Jeans, Visible Panty Lines and 8 other Fashion Disasters, when it occurred to me, how in the heck did I ever survive dressing myself without the help of these women all my life?

Seriously ... NOT!!

I mean, come on. It's all a matter of common sense, really, isn't it? But, apparently not. There are still women out there, everyday, who want to dress like they're still in their teenage years, and they're pushing 40, 50, or older. I shudder just thinking about it.

I'm mean, come'on. Give it up, ladies!

There's "Daytime Cleavage" and there's "Nighttime Cleavage" right? Be respectful and the older you get, the more support you need, am I right? No one needs to see granny au'natural! I know that my "twins" have changed shape and size many times over the years and I'm giving them all the support I can -- they appreciate it and I do too. Gravity has not been kind. Not to mention, I'm sure someone like the grocery clerk appreciates it as well, not having to see me "hanging" in the wind, if you know what I mean.

When it comes down to it, though, if there's a list of don'ts, then there's a reason for them. Someone had to be told, "Hey, I think you're too old to wear Mickey Mouse barrettes in your hair." Or, "Mom, you can't borrow my Mary-Kate & Ashley glitter nail polish anymore!"

Do we need the Fashion Police to measure the number of inches of cleavage we show or announce to the world that everyone over 30 must now wear boot cut jeans to compensate for our "mom" butts?

Hardly.

All we need are just some good common sense fashion tips and we can still look trendy without looking like the last lonely "Material Girl" from a Madonna video.

Take t-shirts with messages on them. There's an age and body for glitter and shine on t-shirts. Especially with flirty messages like "CUTIE PIE!" and "I'M A FOX" And, sorry, but that age has to have a one or maybe a two in front of it. Any older and you're just a cry for help.

The same goes for those micro-mini skirts! Oh my God, I saw one on a woman at a concert the other night. Please, if you have to keep pulling on it to make it longer, then it's TOO SHORT! When she sat down, the skirt completely disappeared! Hello! Nobody wants to see that! According to the "Top 10 Items You're Too Old to Wear" the cut off age is 40 for micro-mini skirts, I say that's pushing it, but then that's me.

Like I said before, it's just a matter of common sense. But, just in case, read the articles. If anything, they're good for a few chuckles.

And, ladies.. watch those VPL's!!

12 comments:

Beverly Mahone said...

Vicki,

I am always amazed at how some of the women in my age group dress. I remember one time, when my daughter was in high school, a friend of hers came over and I wanted to meet her mother (that was a rule). When they came in, I noticed they were dressed exactly alike--tigh jeans--showing cleavage--and I thought "What in the world?!"

While I admit, I dressed a little provocative 30 years ago--those days are long gone. Besides, I have no cleavage to speak of :)

And in case you haven't heard, Mr. Common Sense is dead! (www.boomerworld.blogspot.com)

Vicki M. Taylor said...

I think that women who dress like their kids are also parenting in the "I want to be your friend, not your parent" mode.

Provocative 30 years go? I think that's okay, Bev. :-)

I guess no one knows what common sense means anymore, eh?

Eileen Williams said...

Yes, I think the older we get, it's best to stay conservative in our dress. I've just opened up a store at Cafe Press and I do have t-shirts with funny, over fifty logos. But these are to wear around the house, to sleep in, or exercise in... and none of them are designed to show daytime cleavage. Oh my, NO!!!

Vicki M. Taylor said...

Eileen, Thanks for the comment! Your designs are wonderful.. very 60's and cool!

Pam Archer said...

Jeff Foxworthy was talking about the shorts that say things across the butt. He said, "If your legs loook like a map across Kansas, and your buttocks are peaking out from under the shorts, you ain't NOBODY's 'Baby'" LOL

Vicki M. Taylor said...

OMG! Pam, I can soooo picture it!!

Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Karlyn said...

hehe.. I agree with you. But I'm 42 and I still like my pink glitter nail polish once in a while. :)

Vicki M. Taylor said...

Karlyn, You know.. I can picture you with pink glitter nail polish, too! But, I'm betting that the glitter stays home during a conservative business setting.

Melodieann said...

I live in Tshirts and jeans most days - but I promise none of them say Cutie Pie or I'm A Fox! They DO say It Should Be a Dog's World - Even on the Road!

Vicki M. Taylor said...

Hi Melodieann! You're t-shirt saying is funny! I have one that says "Dogs Rule" with a silhouette picture of a dog with a crown on it. I got it from Pedigree for turning in so many # of UPC codes. But, I only wear it around the house.

Ashley said...

hey..very true..women some times go soo wrong with their dressing..but you cant blame them..its traumatic to see your looks fading!!

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Vicki M. Taylor said...

Traumatic yes, I agree... but they shouldn't over compensate for it.